


When Two Worlds Collide (no one survives)

by IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Elder Wand (Harry Potter), Getting Back Together, HEA, M/M, Nerds in Love, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 11:49:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis/pseuds/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis
Summary: "It had been a year and a half – and he wanted Gellert as much now as he had the day he left. It had taken everything he had not to follow him. How dare he just appear? He was undoing all of Albus’ hard work of forgetting."Perhaps, if Gellert had visited Albus right after acquiring the Elder Wand... Perhaps things would have turned out differently.





	When Two Worlds Collide (no one survives)

**Author's Note:**

> So, it occurs to me on a reread that there ought to be a trigger warning here - without using the word ‘depression,’ there’s a pretty clear description of a major depressive episode in there, about midway through. FYI
> 
> Title is taken from Morphine’s “The Saddest Song,” which somehow inspired this – though if you listen to it and can’t see the connection... I can accept that I have strange synapses.
> 
> I have a [playlist on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/51RqCR9pvuaGZJCQTVmE5P?si=Be5ZdhNuSbihcPjFVsOS7w) made up of songs that have formed the basis for Grindeldore oneshots

Albus awoke to Gellert sitting on the edge of his bed. It was a dark night – a new moon – but it seemed Gellert had lit a few candles. He had always been beautiful by candlelight – the way his skin glowed, and his hair shone, and his dark eye sparkled with the reflections of the flames.

It had been a year and a half – and he wanted Gellert as much now as he had the day he left. It had taken everything he had not to follow him. How dare he just appear? He was undoing all of Albus’ hard work of forgetting.

“What are you doing here, Gellert?”  
“That’s no sort of beginning, Albus – How about, ‘You’ve grown out your hair – it looks good!’ “  
Gellert’s hair always looked good, but Albus had noticed that it looked even better longer like this. It was past Gellert’s shoulders now – Albus itched to touch it. He still remembered what that hair felt like running through his fingers.  
“Or, perhaps instead you might say, ‘It is good to see you – I’ve missed you terribly,’ but then, it is possible you didn’t miss me...”  
Albus _had_ missed him, every day. Every time he had a new idea, he first thought, ‘I must tell Gellert!’ before remembering that Gellert wasn’t part of his life any longer.  
“In which case, I would be satisfied with, ‘Hello, Gellert.’”  
Well, after all that, ‘Hello’ would be dishonest.

“Why now, Gellert?”  
“Why _ever_, Albus? I’m not the one who broke it off. One would almost think you didn’t want to see me, removing me from the wards, disillusioning your house, surrounding it with a strong repelling charm combined with a blanket Confundus. Powerful magic – impressive, Love.”  
“Don’t –“  
Gellert stood. “Right... How could I forget the many things I’m not allowed to say? I apologise.”  
Albus hated that he was hurting Gellert – again. But there would have been no need for it if he had simply _stayed away_.

“Are you alright, Albus? You look terrible.”  
“Very nice, Gellert. How would you look if I woke you in the middle of the night?”  
He would look absolutely perfect, as Albus knew from experience.  
“No – I mean. You’ve lost weight. And you have dark circles under your eyes. And your nose! What happened to your nose?”  
Albus couldn’t tell Gellert about the nose – he didn’t want to reopen that with Gellert right now. Or ever.  
Gellert nodded, seeming to accept Albus’ refusal to answer.  
“Never mind, I can guess.”

Gellert pulled out a wand. It wasn’t his wand – Albus knew Gellert’s wand. This wand was longer, and gnarled... Gellert pointed the wand at Albus’ face.  
“Gellert!”  
Gellert had come back, after all this time – only to stick a wand in Albus’ face?  
Gellert lowered the wand halfway. “Albus. Please let me fix your nose.”  
Oh.

Albus shook his head. “It was left too long. It can’t be fixed.”  
“It can,” said Gellert, and he waved his wand and pointed it at Albus’ nose, and –  
Nothing. The telltale pain of the bones realigning and mending was absent.  
“I told you it couldn’t be fixed, Gellert. Nothing happened.”  
“No, you mean you didn’t _feel_ anything happen. Take a look in the mirror.”  
Albus looked at Gellert sceptically.  
“Go on!”

Albus got up and looked in the mirror, and – his nose looked just as it had before Gellert had left Godric’s Hollow.  
“How - ?”  
“The same way I got through all your wards and other protective spells – The Elder Wand.”  
“Elder Wand? _The_ Elder Wand?”

Gellert looked delighted. “Yes! Can you believe I found it? It would have been better if you had been there, of course, but – now we have one out of the three, and –“  
“We? Gellert –“  
Albus sat back down on the bed, while Gellert scowled and walked to the window.  
“Yes, again, I’ve forgotten. You and Aberforth are the ‘we’ now, aren’t you.”  
“Not so much,” Albus muttered.  
Gellert turned to face Albus. “Of course you aren’t! He will never understand you the way I do, Albus. Now that you have tried staying, you must see how little good it does either you or Aberforth for you to be here...”

“Gellert.” Albus rubbed his forehead. “Gellert, I didn’t stay because Aberforth needed me – he doesn’t. I stayed because – it doesn’t matter why I stayed. Right now –“  
Gellert groaned. “It does matter, Albus – it matters to me. When I left, you told me that Aberforth was right, that we were too dangerous together. But he was the dangerous one, Albus – he was the one who drew first, he –“  
Albus yawned. “Fine, yes, I agree that it matters. I agree that Aberforth drew on you. But I am tired, Gellert, and I can’t talk about this now.”

“Yes, ok. I’m sorry. I know not to talk about serious things with you in the middle of the night.“  
Albus narrowed his eyes.  
Gellert huffed. “Albus, be realistic. I can talk around my feelings for you, but you cannot expect me to pretend I don’t know you.  
“I am sorry that I woke you. I truly didn’t mean to. I had meant to wait silently until you woke up. And I suppose I shouldn’t have come in so late at all, but I was just so excited to see you, I wasn’t able to wait until morning. And then when you did wake – I’ve missed you, Albus. I let my excitement get the better of me. I apologize.”

Albus groaned. “It’s fine, Gellert. Now can you stop talking so I can sleep?”  
Gellert smiled at Albus without speaking and pointed proudly to his closed mouth. Albus rolled his eyes.  
Then, just before closing his eyes, Albus noticed – Gellert was removing his clothes?

He propped himself up on one elbow, eyes open wide.  
“What are you doing?!”  
“Spending the night, naturally.”  
“Gellert, you can’t –“  
What Albus meant was, ‘I can’t.’ What he meant was ‘I can’t resist you, can’t sleep with you so close, can’t forget what it felt like to hold you...’

“Well, why not? I have nowhere else to stay –“  
“Bathilda –“  
“Does not know yet that I am here, and is asleep.”  
“_I_ was asleep!”  
“Yes, well, she doesn’t sleep well, and she’s old.”  
Albus didn’t sleep well, either, since Gellert had left, but he wasn’t planning to admit it. 

“Come on, Albus – you know I can’t hurt you.”  
“Not physically,” Albus muttered.  
By now Gellert was down to just his pants, and it was far too evident how much he had missed Albus.  
Gellert looked down, following Albus’ line of sight.  
“Oh, umm. Sorry about that. I can’t help it – you look so – right, anyway... I promise not to touch you if you don’t want me to.”

Gods, Albus wanted him to. But he really really needed for him not to.  
Albus closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.  
“Albus, tell me you want me to go downstairs and sleep on the sofa, and I will.”  
Albus shook his head in silence.  
“Good!” said Gellert with annoying cheerfulness. “That’s settled, then!” And he pulled back the covers, collapsed on his belly, and fell asleep almost immediately, leaving Albus wide-awake – alone with the Elder Wand, a shirtless sleeping ex-boyfriend, and a painful hard-on.

//////

It was predictable, really. There were only two or three ways he had ever woken up in this situation, and this position was the most likely: Lying on his side with his back to Gellert, Gellert curled tight up against him, his erection pressed up against Albus’ arse, his arm draped across Albus’ chest – and Albus, in response, hard as a rock and urgently needy.

And now, Gellert had started rubbing up against him in his half-sleep. 

“Gellert! Gellert wake up.”  
“Gods!” Gellert pushed away from Albus and sat up. “Albus, I’m so sorry.”  
Albus rolled over and looked at Gellert. How could he have let Gellert leave without him? His brain was suddenly fuzzy on the details.  
“Are you? Sorry?”  
Gellert smiled a small sad smile. “I’m sorry if you need me to be. And then again, I’m not sorry if you need me not to be.”  
Albus nodded. He wasn’t sure how to answer, and so he didn’t.

“Gellert – I didn’t tell you the truth the night you left. I don’t really think that we are dangerous together. The truth is I don’t deserve you.”  
“But Albus –“  
“No, Love, let me finish.”  
Love. He was so lost. If only Gellert hadn’t come back.

“The truth is –Ariana had to die in order for me to leave with you. I knew it from the beginning – knew that I was trapped taking care of her – that no matter what you and I might dream of, travelling with her was impossible. Aberforth was too young to take care of her himself, and I had no money to pay someone else to do it.  
“The whole time we were together, I felt that I was lying to you – that I was pretending to be someone who could go away with you when I knew I couldn’t. I worried that I was using you to escape from reality. But I wanted so badly for what I had with you to be real. I needed you – needed for what we had to last.  
“And then Ariana died, and suddenly everything was easier – I could be who I had wanted to be all along – you and I could have all that we had planned for. Her death was – convenient for me. I was devastated when she first died, but it wasn’t an hour before I thought, ‘Now Gellert and I can leave.’  
“To profit by her death – it made me feel monstrous. And that shame held me fast.  
”I didn’t deserve you because I had been dishonest with you from the beginning, and I didn’t deserve you because I could only have you if an innocent person died.”

“That explains why you didn’t fix your nose when it was still fixable. I heard that Aberforth said that you were glad she was dead, before he punched you. I’m guessing that’s when you broke your nose? And you wanted to condemn yourself to wearing the reminder?”  
“How did you –“  
“Aunt Bathilda wrote to me about the funeral.  
“Albus – you loved her. I saw how much you loved her.”  
“I resented her more.”  
“Can such things be measured?”

Albus thought about this. ‘Can such things be measured?’ Such a simple question, and yet he had never thought to ask it. He had missed Gellert – in the sense of having an essential piece of himself go missing. He thought better in tandem with him.

Albus needed - “Lay back down, Love?”  
Gellert tensed. “Albus – “ he said in a warning tone.  
“I would like to lay my head on your chest – please? I need – I have missed you holding me.”  
Gellert exhaled heavily, and replied, “Yes, me too.” He lay down on his back and stretched out his arm to pull Albus in to him.  
Gellert was so warm, as usual – Albus thought about bread fresh from the oven, and laughed. 

“What is it, Albus?”  
“I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you and you are here and it is not a dream.”  
“No, not a dream, Love.”  
“I’ve dreamed that dream often – waking to find you sitting on the bed in the candlelight. Even the part where you come back to tell me about the Wand. But when we started arguing, I was almost sure you were real.”

Albus heard the smile in Gellert’s voice when he asked, “And when were you certain?”  
“When you fell asleep not touching me – it was supposed to end with us tangled up together.”  
“You looked like you very much did not want that last night, Albus.”  
“No – I wanted it. It’s just that I was afraid of what would happen next.”  
“And what would have happened next?”  
Albus thought about it in silence. Finally he answered, “Happiness.”

They were silent again. Albus lay there listening to Gellert’s heartbeat while Gellert rubbed his back.  
“Albus – what have you been doing all this time I was gone? Aunt Bathilda wouldn’t tell me.”  
“At first? Nothing. After Aberforth left for school, I couldn’t bring myself to prepare meals, to wash. I lay in bed awake, reliving everything, every mistake. And it seemed that everything I had ever done was a mistake.  
“Bathilda finally noticed that I hadn’t left the house, and began bringing food. When she visited, she’d cast a scourgify on me, and fuss over me. And one day – I walked out the door and kept walking. Every day, I’d walk to a place where we had been together. After months of that, I decided that forgetting you – never having had you – would be a better punishment than wallowing in the loss. Grieving you was almost like saying I had deserved what happiness we had together.”

“And after you stopped walking?”  
“I finally started writing again, looking into masteries.”  
Gellert’s hand stilled. “That sounds perfect for you. You should -”  
Albus lifted up his head to look at Gellert. “No it isn’t! Nothing is perfect for me but you. I can’t think a new thought without feeling the urge to tell you, and then I lose half an hour or more grieving that I can’t. How could I survive getting a mastery? Ever since learning that you exist, I can’t live without you.”  
“So you let me go? Albus, how can I trust that you won’t do it again? If you even take me back, which you have not yet said you will do.”  
“No,” said Albus tiredly, “I suppose I haven’t.”

He sat up and held out his hand – a shirt came flying towards him, straight into his hand, and Gellert watched him as he pulled it on.  
“So,” said Albus. “You have the Wand. What’s next?”  
“That depends on whether you are with me, I suppose.”  
“What would you do if I weren’t? Pursue the Stone? The Cloak?”  
“I don’t think so. I only claimed the Wand without you to show you – I was hoping you would be excited enough to see it that you would come back.”  
“It was incredible to see it. But I was more excited to see you.”  
Gellert rolled his eyes. “You did not seem particularly excited to see me at the time. It seemed you might hit me with a cutting curse, if the pact allowed it.”  
“I’m surly on three hours of sleep.”  
“You certainly are!” muttered Gellert.

“You wouldn’t get the other Hallows without me? Why?”  
“I had always meant for us to find them together, Albus.”  
“Yes, but – I never understood that. We can’t both master them, anyway.”  
“No, I think we can. I know that it has never been done before, but – all three Hallows have never been mastered by _one_ person before, either. And the Wand has never been held longer than two decades before being taken by a new master. You told me once that love was the most powerful force of all – more powerful than magic. What if the Hallows can never be held by one person – can only ever be held by more than one? What if love is the only force powerful enough to master such powerful magic?”  
Albus gaped at Gellert.  
“That’s a brilliant idea! Why did you never tell me?”  
“I was afraid you’d laugh at me. But now – I’ve lost you already. I may as well lay my cards on the table. How could it make things worse?”

Albus hid his face in his hands and took several deep breaths. When he removed them to look at Gellert, he said brokenly, “I have been a fool.”  
“Albus?”  
“I have punished myself long enough. Punished you for far too long.”  
Albus lay back down next to Gellert. His hand drifted down Gellert’s belly to the waist of his pants. Gellert inhaled sharply. Albus began working his hand inside, and had just grazed Gellert’s cock when Gellert grabbed Albus’ wrist and pulled his hand away. “No, Albus.”  
“But I want –“  
“Clearly. But are you ready? Are you acting on more than a memory? Are you doing this because you want me now? Or because you wish you had done this a year ago?”  
“Gellert, please. I love you.”  
“Yes, I believe you do – but I am going to need some time to believe that you are going to allow us to have this. I can’t bear to do this for a day, a week, and then lose you all over again.”

Albus slid over Gellert’s body until he was fully on top of him, their clothed erections rubbing against one another. He bent down to kiss Gellert.  
“How much time are you going to need?”  
“More than two minutes, you wicked man!”  
But even as he said so, Gellert had flipped them, and soon he was hungrily kissing Albus, with his hands in Albus’ hair.  
When Gellert stopped to allow them to breathe, Albus said, “I thought you needed more time to be sure.”  
“I decided that I need this more.”

Gellert disappeared Albus’ clothes, and sat back to admire him.  
“I thought I was never going to see you again, like this. Never going to get to touch you again.” He shifted back and bent down, sucked on the head of Albus’ cock. They both moaned.  
“I thought I had remembered what that feels like – but –“  
Gellert put his mouth back on Albus’ cock, sank down lower. Removed his mouth again. “But no – you feel so much better. You make me hungry for you.”  
“Gellert – “  
“That’s right. Say my name again.”

Gellert sucked Albus back into his mouth again, and this time, he didn’t remove it. He sank lower and lower...  
“Gellert!” Albus’ head tipped back, and his hands twisted in the sheets.  
Without removing his mouth from Albus’ cock, Gellert reached up and grabbed one of Albus’ hands, brought it down to the back of his head. Albus looked down and noticed that Gellert had not tied back any of his hair. Usually he did, so it wouldn’t get in his way. Albus brought down his other hand, and with both hands he tenderly pulled back the hair that was hanging around Gellert’s face like a curtain. Then he gathered it in one hand and held it at the back of Gellert’s head. He could feel Gellert smile around his cock. 

He had missed this – everything about this – Gellert, Gellert’s hair, Gellert’s hands, Gellert’s mouth, Gellert’s mouth on his cock.  
_Gellert’s mouth on his cock._  
“Yes Gellert! Please please please!” Albus’ focus narrowed and narrowed, until all there was was his cock, and Gellert’s warm wet mouth, and Gellert’s tongue, and his need building - and suddenly he was aware of his whole body again, because it was lit up with sensation and he was coming, coming in Gellert’s mouth.

Gellert pulled off and Albus let Gellert’s hair drop back down.  
Gellert looked down at Albus quizzically. “Are you ok?”  
What was Gellert talking about? He was beyond ok.  
“Gellert, I’m – I feel better than I’ve felt since –“  
Albus choked on the end of the sentence. He couldn’t speak the words. ‘Since before you left.’

He took in Gellert’s expression. “Are _you_ ok?”  
“Yeah, of course,” Gellert said. But he flopped down beside Albus without touching him.  
“Gellert –“ Albus rolled onto his side and took Gellert’s hand.  
“You have me – I’m yours.”  
“You’ve said that before,” Gellert said, heavily.  
Yes, he had said it before. Many times. 

“Yeah, I did. But then again, no I didn’t. The Albus who couldn’t make promises, who was bound to his family told that to you. Who I am now, the person I am after Ariana and everything – that me has never told you – so in a sense, I’m telling you for the first time. I’m yours.”  
“Albus – you’ve been wrong before. I don’t know how you could possibly know.”

“Oh, Love. I know because I know what happens when I am not yours, and I am never going to let that happen again. I thought for a long time that that was all I deserved – a life of being not yours. But you’re here, in my bed, and I don’t care what I deserve. What I deserve doesn’t matter. I know what I want – I want you.”  
“But what does that mean, Albus? What do you mean when you say that you are mine? That you want me? You don’t want the same things I want – ”

Albus brushed Gellert’s hair away from his face, even though none of it was really in the way. He just – needed an excuse to touch it.  
“_You_ don’t want the things that you want, Love.”  
“Albus, you are not making any sense.”  
“We are different when we are together. The things you want when you are _not_ with me? You want different things when you _are_ with me. I think I am more myself when I am with you. You will need to decide if you are more yourself when you are alone – or if you are more yourself when you are with me.”

Albus climbed on top of Gellert and kissed him lightly on the lips before asking, “What do you want, Gellert?”  
“To look for the Hallows _with you_. To find out what it means to master them. To see if I’m right about mastering them together.  
“How about you, Albus? What do you want?”

Albus laid his hand on Gellert’s shoulder and smiled at him.  
“First, I want to make you come. And then, I want to eat breakfast. And afterwards, I want to make plans for finding the Hallows, or doing whatever we are doing next, together.”  
“Together. I love you Albus. I have missed you. I have missed talking with you, sharing everything with you...”

Albus kissed Gellert again, then ran his fingers from the corner of one eye, down Gellert’s cheek, until they rested on Gellert’s jaw bone. He ran his thumb over Gellert’s bottom lip.  
“Oh, Love. There will be so much talking. Just as soon as my mouth is no longer otherwise occupied.”  
And he vanished Gellert’s pants.

As he kissed his way down Gellert’s once familiar body, Albus thought to himself that this was what it meant to make the world new. They were making a new world together, in this bed, before they ever took their plans out the front door.

**Author's Note:**

> After running the “what if Gellert came back after finding the Elder Wand” thought experiment several times, I must conclude that they would have gotten back together: 
> 
> I started writing this as a canon-compliant “but when they woke up, they decided that it would never work, and they went their separate ways knowing that there would never be anyone else for either of them, knowing that separating carried the cost of forever being alone” sort of sad and angsty fic.  
But – nothing I wrote made any sense. Every time I tried to take the story that way, they took a U-turn and ended up having sex and getting back together. So - here we are.


End file.
